The Last of The Hybrids
by nerdlover69
Summary: Goddesses of lesbianity? Vampires getting pregnant? What is this madness! Oh yeah, it's the imagination of two teens getting high off sugar and life - -
1. Intro to Goddessnessocityness 101

AUTHOR'S NOTE OF FRICKIN EPICNESS. READ OR PERISH.  
Faithful readers, we wish to inform you that this story is strictly a no flamer zone. Take your crappish complaints somewhere else, my lovelies. This story is a result of two overactive imaginations, intense sugar levels and false pregnancy symptoms. It's also a co-write between nerdlover69 and icanreadyourmind. So BAM! Don't be dissin' mofos! Nah I'm jk I'm white as hell and I love you all 3  
For those who have seen Eclipse Leah is not that ugly in this story picture a cross between Megan Fox and Kim Kardashian and I know you guys try not to get a boner lol :D WARNING THIS STORY IS RATED M FOR LANGUAGE AND LESBIANATY THEMES OF EPIC PROPORTIONS MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA O.o. So enough of this shizzzz on with the show!

Bella POV  
Intro To Goddess 101

Imagine, if you will, beauty and power beyond your wildest dreams. Hot, hot lesbianity to awe and inspire masses of willing sexual victims. Yo. I… am Bella Volturi, goddess of fertility in the three known lesbian worlds. I am a member of the Volturi, gods and goddesses of these three worlds. I, along with my 6 brethren and sistren have ruled the worlds for the past 69,000 years, so BEAT THAT BITCH! To understand my story, you'll have to understand the ways of the gods and goddesses.

As long as we reign supreme over the worlds, both in power and numbers, everything is Jim Dandy. But as soon as our powers dim in comparison to our enemies, we strike back at the force and at their creator. And thus, you get a full-blown mother-truckin' apocalypse. I myself have been a force in thousands of apocalyptic battles. By the way, sorry about the Ten Plagues, only two of them were actually God's wrath, my bad. Really, the boils were an accident. I was pissed off, I was PMSing, and Aro was making fun of me, he wouldn't buy me god-size tampons, it was horrible! What would you have done, huh? Yeah, that's what I thought… bitch.

So yeah, about those powers I was talking about earlier, as the Goddess of fertility among the lesbians, I can impregnate the women I fall in love with or the women who pay homage to me in my various playboy mansions around the globe. That's right; Hugh Heffner is my son, not the oldest by any means, but still my son, my pride and joy! I have a couple thousand kids at the moment both alive and dead but none have ever been immortal. My third youngest child, at the moment, is Charlie Swan, chief of police in Forks, Washington. His wife is Renesmee Swan, nicknamed Nessie, for she is half sea-serpent.

I'm planning a trip to visit my son in Forks because Aro and I haven't been getting along lately, because he thinks, you know, being the fricken' goddess of fertility is like sooo easy, and you know what, it's not, 'cause there's so many lesbians now, and like, they don't even pray to me any more! I mean, come on, just because now you don't need a miracle, you can just get knocked up on your own without doing the dirty, I'm not important anymore! Me-dammit!

Charlie says that the residents of Forks, Washington need something to talk about. So I'm planning a visit, might knock up a few lesbians for the heck of it, stir up some gossip, you know the drill. He also says there's a coven of vampires not far from his house, but they don't eat humans, so this will be entertaining. Vampires are sooo full of themselves. Like, this bleedin wanker -yeah I'm British sometimes, so suck it!- named James thought he was God's gift to mankind, so I ripped his pee-diddle off and shanked him with a dildo, right in the jugular, just like bajam, vibrations! Then his mate Victoria came after me and I slapped her in the face with a fish that just popped into my hands, and she ran off with my dildo! I mean seriously, WTF? Do you know how much that shit costs?

So redheaded dildo-snatching vampire bitch Lestat wannabes aside, I've been doing pretty good lately. Me and Jane had a thing for a while, but she was a little bit too dark princess of evil for my taste, so now we're just friends. Aside from Aro being a douchebag, the other gods and goddesses have been pretty decent to me considering that my powers are waning because of my lack of followers lately. Aro keeps running around me with a sharp stick saying 'Haha, I have more followers than you!' and I'm just like, 'Dude, do you WANT me to impregnate you? 'Cause that whole pregnant dude thing was entirely my fault, I really thought it was a girl, and in my defense, he WAS a lady when I met him, and then he got that sex change and it was like, ah shit. Don't even wanna tell you how much hell I caught for that shit.

That's pretty much my story I guess. Everything else is either too horrible for me to mention or too unimportant. So now that me and you know each other on a personal level, I promise not to impregnate you if you promise not to piss me off, I guess I can tell you the story of my final three children and how I became supreme ruler of the three worlds. Sorry if I offend anybody with this tale, and just telling you now, if you're embarassed or grossed out by sea-monsters, gay vampires and lesbian pregnancies, either shield your eyes or don't finish reading, moron.

Authors note version 2.0  
hey gives us feedback and be nice :) love you guys thanks for those who are reading and we will soon upload a playlist for this fanfic along with pictures of certain parts :) 3 :)


	2. Sex On A First Date

Forks is unspeakably droll. Believe me when I say that I've seen some obnoxiously lifeless towns during my existence - Pompeii, think it was a volcano? Bitch, I did that! But this town makes you want to claw your eyes out and punch infants just for something to do. All they ever do here is make clay pots and smoke marijuana until the sky turns purple. And everything is covered in moss. The whole town is a fucking swamp. Why _anyone_ would choose to live in a swamp is completely beyond me. Niggas got some issues.

But of course, I had vampires to look forward to. If I wasn't so certain these strange and often homosexual creatures would be a source of entertainment I'd be halfway to the Bahamas by now. So I flew toward Washington and my son's house, turning women toward the wonderful lifestyle of lesbianity with a single glance all along the way, just for the hell of it. By the time I got off the plane, half the people on the flight were pregnant and 12 had joined the mile-high club - at the same time. High-flying orgies are my specialty.

I asked my son to provide me with some method of transportation that wouldn't embarrass me as much as his rundown cop car, and he got me this huge piece of shit pickup truck that I _think_ was supposed to be red, or maybe it was just the rust. Oddly enough, I loved it. I wondered how many women could fit in the bed of the truck during a highway orgy.

I made a mental note to investigate this question at some point.

My son had also been so kind as to provide me with a school schedule, so I didn't bother settling in. I drove straight to school and began wreaking havoc on the teenage population. One of the teachers had a secret foot fetish - I planted a stack of foot porn in his desk and waited for him to get fired. Like I said, this town is incredibly boring.

I didn't expect to run into the Cullens for a good couple days, but shockingly enough, they went to school here. I suppose they were attractive - not so much as me, but by human standards they weren't fugly. The one chick with a dyke spike and a small frame made me want to do unnatural things. She was holding hands with a blonde boy who would have looked much better as a woman, and probably needed some Pepto Bismol.

And then I saw him. Shades, although it was clearly the middle of the day. Subtle designer clothes, because jeans and a tee shirt obviously aren't comfortable if they don't cost what a middle-class father of four makes in a year. Converse - who the fuck wears Converse when they wanna act straight? And the best part - this douche bag spiked his hair. He had copper hair. Copper. Like a penny. Like a dirty penny. The one you find in the street and you pick it up just because no one's around to call you a Jew. And he _spiked_ it. Like a fucking anime character. He looked like a retarded clone of Roxas.

As soon as I saw him, I knew this guy was a huge fucking tool. But since he obviously thought he was God's gift to mankind, he immediately approached me.

Bitch, I _am_ God.

"Hi there." He gave me a stupid cocky smile with teeth that were too big and white to look natural. I would've bet my entire generation of children this guy spent too much time on his knees. "Are you new?"

"I know you're not interested in my vagina so don't bother with the front."

He tried to cover his awe with a douchey grin. "What do you mean by that?"

"Honey, you've had more dick in your mouth than there are ants in a molehill and everybody here knows it."

"Well, you're not very friendly at all-"

"I don't take kindly to tools and closeted fairies, let alone the vampire brand." To switch things up, I gave him my most charming smile and leaned in nice and close, letting him smell the intoxicating aroma that surrounded me like a shroud. "There is one thing you can do for me though."

"What's that?" He asked, wide-eyed and slightly nervous.

"Your friend over there, the sex pixie. Send her over?"

"…Alice? What do you want with her?" Yeah, that's it, I'd had enough. I kneed him in the crotch and left him there, whimpering like a little bitch, walking over to a pixie that looked like sex on legs. I pushed the blonde poof out of the way and scooped Alice off her feet, running out of the lunchroom and into the woods… aw yeah.

We stopped in a clearing, Alice jumping down from my arms with a confused gaze in my direction. My ovaries exploded and grew back within 3 seconds.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"My name is Bella. I'm a goddess, you're a vampire, and I want to do unnatural things to you. But that's being blunt."

Alice's eyes glazed over, and she cocked her head to the side. "But… I can't see you."

I laughed. "Your powers don't work on me honey, I'm a supreme being. The goddess of lesbian fertility actually."

"Lesbian… fertility? You can make women pregnant without a male counterpart?"

"Ew, penis is disgusting. Why would you even want a male counterpart when all you need is my gentle touch?"

"You can make me pregnant?"

"I can make you have sextuplets, but that's not the point. I'm a goddess. You're a vampire. I. Want. You."

She bit her lip, smiling slightly. Her eyes, already big as saucers, widened until I was ready to drown in those golden pools. Before I knew what was happening she was on me, unbuttoning my shirt and pants with unnatural speed.

I wasn't about to let her have control. I flipped us off the ground, smashing us into and through 5 trees in the process. Most of my human lovers couldn't have handled the awesome sexual power of my violent embrace, but she retaliated with excellent stamina. I ripped her shirt to shreds in a single motion, and her pants simply fell off. I was now staring at a hot pixie in lingerie with shocking large, ahem, tits and the cutest legs I'd ever seen. The rest of our clothing came off in a flurry of hands and teeth.

"Do you want me?" She whispered into my ear, looking playful.

I thought a moment. "Now that you mention it, not really, no." I rolled off of her, completely naked, and began to walk a walk, the seductive swish of my hips a siren's call for her already raging hormones.

"Hey!" She jumped on my back, nibbling my ear. "That's no fair. And you're a terrible liar." She grabbed me by the tits and forced me to the ground, grinding her hips against mine with the unnatural speed of an immortal being.

And then, she pulled an assortment of dildos from thin air, varying in color, shape and size, with each color of the rainbow. "Alice, what the fuck? Are you really gonna try and tell me you weren't prepared for this?"

"I carry a cache of dildos on my person at all times."

I stared at her bare-ass naked body. "Where?"

"That's for me to know and _you_ to find out." She climbed on top of me and winked.

Again, ovaries. Boom.

"Alice, my ovaries can't take much more of this. You are by far the most attractive woman I've ever been with."

"That sounds like a man's lie. Shut up and fuck me."

Our passionate lovemaking made scars in the earth. By the time we were done there was a clearing in the forest bigger than a football field, with a large crater in the middle of it. Any animal in a five-mile radius had spontaneously combusted from the pure sexual energy radiating from our position.

Within a day of being in boring, wet Forks, Washington I had landed a hot vampire chick and…

Shit, she was pregnant.


End file.
